Zim Cookay!
by Skylimit
Summary: Zim cookays, giant chickens, Gold prizes, an edible war and prerecorded messages! Please review!
1. Blue Cheese, Gold Prizes and Chickens

Hi! This is my first Invader Zim fic. Please review!

GIR was in another of his "stranger-than-usual" moods. Jumping round the house, yelling "BLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!" It wasn't surprising that Zim woke up earlier than usual.   
"GIR-CUT-OUT-YOUR-UNIMPORTANT-TALK-ABOUT-CHEESE-AT-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" GIR paused and looked at Zim.  
"Doodie." GIR then ran into the kitchen. There was silence. Zim liked silence. It allowed him to think...WAIT! SILENCE? That could only mean...THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE IN THE LAB!  
"GIR! GET AWAY FROM MY DOOMSDAY DEVICE!" GIR smiled at Zim in an odd way, then started banging his head against buttons.  
"WHAT THIS DO? WHAT THAT DO? WHAT THIS DO? WHAT THAT DO?"   
"GIR-GET-AWAY-FROM-MY-DOOMS..." At that point the phone rang. Zim glowered at GIR. "Don't touch the doomsday device, GIR."  
"Okie-dokey!" GIR saluted as Zim left the lab. Zim picked up the telephone.  
"What do you want you puny earth creature?"  
"Hello! You have won our annual prize draw..."  
"Draw? I do not recall entering a draw, but never mind! What prize have I won?" Zim did not know that the message was prerecorded.  
"...or our silver prize of a watch..."  
"Wait! What was the gold prize? You humans always refer to silver as second best, and so the GOLD prize must be a prize of unimaginable..."  
"...to see if you have won, call our hotline on..."  
"EARTHLING! I WISH TO KNOW THE GOLD PRIZE!"  
...94263. Calls are charged at..."  
"FINE! If you will not tell me the gold prize, then I must steal it. Tell me where this prize is hidden!"  
"...this call cost 3 pounds a minute. Goodbye!" The message stopped. Zim glared at the phone with contempt. Suddenly GIR's voice resounded around the house.  
"OOOOOOPPPSIE! CHICKEN!" Zim raced down to the lab to find a mutant chicken prowling it with GIR perched on top.   
"GIR! Stop playing with the experiments and do something useful!"  
"I'LL MAKE COOKIES!"   
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim attempted to grab GIR as he passed but missed. Zim raced up to the kitchen to find that GIR had already started the cookie-making process. Zim raced up to GIR, but slipped on the floor and fell into the dough.  
"ZIM COOOOOOKAAYYYYYY!" GIR screamed happily.  
"Zim, I did not come to this planet to be TURNED-INTO-A-COOKIE!" GIR ignored him and started doing whatever it is you do to make a cookie (I have made cookies before, but I can't remember how I made them, OK?) before throwing Zim and the cookie dough into the oven. Zim squirmed, but the dough held him fast. GIR bounced around the kitchen before finally turning the oven up to 250 degrees fahrenheit.  
"GIR! Get me out of the oven now!"  
"Zim cookay!"  
"NO! No Zim cookay!" GIR suddenly paused and opened the oven. Zim was relieved to find that GIR had given up on a Zim cookie.  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!" GIR threw the bag at Zim and shut the oven again. Thinking fast, Zim drew out his cookie shaper and cut up the dough into cookie shapes, before flinging open the oven and shutting it just as the chocolate chip bag exploded. Zim collapsed on the floor. In almost no time at all, the cookies were ready. Zim shoved the cookies into a box.  
"GIR! We're going to sell cookies so that I can earn money to purchase goods on this planet!"  
"Zim Cookay!"  
"Yes, GIR, Zim Cookay. Now let's go!"

TA-DA! I know it seems unlikely that Zim would sell cookies, but Zim has just had to put up with all of GIR's wierdness, so he's not thinking straight. Review please!


	2. Let's sell cookies

Welcome to part 2. If you like it, please review. If you don't like it, please review. If you can't be arsed...you get the picture. On with the fic!

As soon as GIR was out the door, Zim knew this was going to be a disaster. Even though Zim had told him to act like a dog, GIR was in too strange a mood to listen.  
"ZIM COOKAY!"  
"No, GIR, no Zim cookay."  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!" GIR threw another bag of chocolate chips at Zim.   
"GIR, do not throw those around." Zim walked up to a house and rang the doorbell. An elderly woman stepped out.  
"Yes dear? How can I help you?"  
"Greetings human fool! I wish to sell you these food substances known as cookies." The elderly lady didn't say anything. Several minutes passed by. Maybe she hasn't heard me, Zim thought.  
"Would you like to buy a cookie?"  
"GREGORY! IT'S THEM! IT'S THEM! GET THE HOSE!"   
"What? I am merely trying to..."  
"YOU COOKIE SELLERS ARE..."  
"ZIM COOKAY!" The woman stared at GIR.  
"Did that dog talk?" She asked.  
"Are you insane, woman? Dog's don't talk, I did! As I was saying, they are Zim cookays..."  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!"   
"GIR-STOP-THROWING-BAGS-OF-CHOCOLATE-CHIPS!" GIR and the woman stared at Zim.  
"Would you like to buy a Zim cookay?" Suddenly the woman exploded again.  
"GREGORY! THEY'RE SELLING STRANGE HIP NEW COOKIES! HOSE THEM HOSE THEM HOSE THEMMMM!" At this point a man appeared next to the woman.   
"You're going down, punks!" The man blasted them with a cold stream of water that threw them back to the pavement.  
"Let's try another house, GIR."  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!" Zim ducked the bag that was thrown at him.  
How many more of those do you have, GIR?" GIR pressed a button and peppered Zim with Chocolate Chip bags.

After much pain, Zim reached the last house on the street. A man opened the door, took one look at Zim and said:  
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Zim perked up. That voice...   
"YOU!" Zim pointed an accusing finger at the man. The man looked baffled.  
"Sorry?"  
"You were the man who called me about the GOLD prize! You refused to reveal its secret whereabouts yesterday..."  
"I have no idea what you..."  
"SILENCE! You will tell me the whereabouts of the GOLD prize, or else your house will be destroyed! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."  
"Ok, o..."   
"DO-NOT-INTERUPT-MY-LAUGH! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" There was a pause.  
"Well," the man began.  
"I'M NOT FINISHED! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Silence. "You may speak earthling."  
"The prize is...in the mines! Yes, if you to there, you'll find the...prize." The man snickered, but Zim did not notice.  
"A-HA! NOW AT LAST THE GOLD PRIZE SHALL BE MINE!"  
"CHICKEN!" GIR yelled. Zim stared at GIR, who shrugged.  
"To the mines, GIR!" And with that, Zim and GIR left, forgetting the cookies.

Zim rushed straight back to the house and began preparations. GIR watched TV.  
"GIR! Stop watching TV!"  
"CHICKEN!"   
"I'll give you a chicken if you help me!" GIR perked up and walked down to the lab. Zim sighed.  
"Good, now let's..."   
"Ooopsie! CHICKEN!"   
"GIR-GET-AWAY-FROM-THE-MUTATED-CHICKEN!" At this point the doorbell rang. "STAY-AWAY-FROM-THE-LAB!"  
"Okie dokie! CHICKEN!" Zim went to the door and opened it. A small girl was standing there with cookies.  
"Would woo wike to buy some cookies?"  
"No," said Zim instantly.  
"But there could be a gold ticket in the bar woo buy..."  
"Golden Ticket? Tell me more!"  
"The golden ticket means woo can win..."  
"Yes..."  
"...The pwize of gwowy..."  
"YEs..."  
"...Which is..."   
"...YES..." At this point GIR approached the door.   
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!" The girl screamed as GIR threw bags of chocolate chips at the girl.  
"GIR! NOOOOOOOOOO! I MUST LEARN ABOUT THE PRIZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEE!" By this time, the girl had gone. GIR raced back into the house. Zim raced after him.  
"YOU FOOL GIR! NOW I CAN ONLY POSESS THE GOLD PRIZE!"  
"Oopsie!" Zim heard GIR say. "DINOSAUR!"  
"GIR!" Zim raced into the lab.   
"ZIM COOKAY WITH..."  
"GIR! NOOOOO!" But it was too late. GIR dropped a whole bunch of chocolate chip bags, promptly trapping Zim.

Part 2 over! I know I've obsessed a bit with the ZIM COOKAY thing, but that's the name of the fic after all. Any suggestions to make the story better would be much appreciated!


	3. War of the Cookies: The Prologue

Hey! Really sorry about not posting this up sooner, my computer had to be taken into the repair shop for a bit. But now I can get on with the story!

Several hours after being trapped under the chocolate chip cookies, Zim was in the kitchen while Gir watched TV.  
"GIR!"   
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?"  
"I need you to get me some cookie dough."  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SPRINKLES!"  
"Yes, GIR. Zim Cookays with chocolate chips and sprinkles. Now go out and get the cookie dough! I have a fiendish plan!"  
"UHIDSYGU?"  
"GIR, stop talking nonsense and bring me that cookie dough!"   
"Yessir!" Zim watched as GIR walked out, leaving the door open.  
"GIR..."

Several hours later, Zim and GIR approached the mines laden with cookies.  
"GIR! Go and scout the mines, see if there's anyone there!" GIR ran into the mines, and then a few seconds later, walked back outside with his head on fire.  
"GIR? Why is your head on fire?"  
"HUG!"  
"NO GIR! AHHHHHHHHH! IT BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSS!" Zim rolled around on the floor while GIR stared at him with his head still on fire. When Zim had fully recovered, he stood back up again.   
"Why do you have your head on fire GIR?"  
"HUGGG!"   
"AHHHHHH!"  
"HUG!"   
"BUUUUUURRRNNNNNIINNNG!"  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SPRINKLES!"   
"GIR-CUT-THAT-OUT-AND-TELL-ME-WHY-YOUR-HEAD-IS-ON-FIRE!"   
"Dib told me to hug you if you asked me that."   
"WHAAATTT?"  
"HUG!"   
"MELLLLLLLLTTTTTTTIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGG!" Zim once again rolled on the floor until the fire was out.  
"So, Dib is after the prize as well, eh? I knew these would come in handy!" Zim picked up two of the cookies and attached them to a catapault. He then placed explosives on the cookies and launched them.  
"YES! IN YOUR FACE DIB! Now, let's go and find the prize!"  
"Not so fast, Zim!" Zim turned round to see Dib in a heroic pose. "I have come to stop your diabolical plan!"  
"How did you know I had a diabolical plan?"  
"I...um...th...that's not important! What's important is I will stop you!"  
"Oh really? GIR, launch the cookies!"  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SPRINKLES!" GIR started throwing the Zim Cookays at Dib.  
"Ow! Hey! Stop it GIR! OOOOOOOWWWWW! THE CORNERS!" Dib collapsed on the floor.  
"Excellent! Now, let's go GIR!" Zim started walking, but GIR just stared at him.  
"GIR? Let's move!"  
"Zim..."  
"What is it, GIR?"  
"ZIM COOKAY WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND CHICKEN!"  
"Too far, GIR. Too far."

The War of the Cookies really kicks off in the next part! Please review, comment, whatever!


	4. War of the Cookies: Edible Robots

After encountering Dib in the mines, Zim had rushed back to his lab to make reinforcements while GIR made more cookies.  
"Truly I am so amazing!" Zim laughed. "I shall use my technology to turn my cookies into ROBOTS OF DOOM! But I need another plan, in case DIB was expecting that. Hmmm...I'll put on the bear suit!" Zim rushed upstairs and found a moth-eaten bear suit. Zim put it on, then started thinking. Several minutes passed, but Zim had no ideas. GIR came in carrying a tray of cookies, but immediately dropped them when he saw Zim.  
"Intruder!" GIR yelled, eyes turning red.  
"NO GIR! IT'S ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim started running around the house while GIR chased him.  
"GIR IT'S ME STOP THAT AT OONNNNNNCCCCEEEEE!" GIR's eyes turned normal.  
"Do the dance, Zim!" GIR said eagerly.  
"Dance? What dance?"  
"You know, the bear dance!"  
"No GIR, I will not..."   
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zim sighed.  
"Okay, GIR. Doo dee doo dee doo!" GIR clapped as Zim danced round the room. GIR got up and danced behind him.  
"Doo dee doo dee doo! Doo dee doo dee...GIR! I have a plan! Ohhh yes, a fiendish plan, a plan so..."  
"Zim Cookay with chocolate chips!"  
"Owwww! The corners! The...mmmmm! These "chocolate chips" aren't that bad...but enough of this! I must inform the tallest of my progress!" Zim raced to the TV and flicked a switch, immediately displaying the two faces of the tallest.  
"Greetings, Tallest!" Zim said enthusiastically.  
"Oh. Hello Zim." They responded.  
"I bring news of a GOLD prize! I have built myself an army of cookies and various other food substances to capture the prize and stop anyone in my way!"  
"Wont the humans eat the food?"   
"What? That is absurd! Humans eating food! Whatever next?"   
"Why are you in a bear suit?"  
"It helps me think!" GIR tugged at Zim. "What is it, GIR? I'm speaking with the tallest!"  
"Do the dance, Zim! Doo dee doo dee doo!" Upon hearing this the tallest had to hold their mouths so that Zim wouldn't know they were laughing.  
"Go on, Zim!" they said between fits of giggles. "Do the dance!"  
"Very well, tallest! I shall do my duty! Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo!" The tallest were turning purple at this point.   
"We-have-to-go-Zim-bye!" they said before quickly turning off the intercom nd laughing.  
"Doo dee doo dee doo!" they said to each other as they fell to the floor from laughing too much.

Several hours later, Zim was back at the mines.  
"That Dib will not stop me! GIR! Launch the cookie cannons!" GIR saluted and fired the cookie cannons at the mines.  
"So, you came back for more, Zim?" a voice said. Zim saw Dib at the entrance to the mines. "Well, I came prepared! Go my robots!" A number of robots emerged from the mines.  
"Go my Food substance robots! Destroy the human!"  
"Food substance robots? That's just...dumb."  
"Dumb like sprinkles, Dib! Dumb like sprinkles!" At this point the robots were engaging in battle. Zim watched as his robots fired chocolate chips at the enemy.   
"Soon. Soon! The GOLD prize will be mine! ...I HAVE LOST MY PATIENCE! These robots are too slow! I will just venture into the mines myself! Come on GIR! Let's go!" Zim grabbed GIR and they raced through the chaos to the mines. Dib saw this.  
"No you wont, Zim! I'll stop you!" He struck up a heroic pose, when a piece of Zim's cookie robot bounced off his abnormally large head. "Owww!" He picked up the cookie robot and took a bite. "Mmmm! This is great!" forgetting his mission, Dib raced around, eating pieces of Zim's robots. But what Dib didn't know was...EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR MADE HIM CRAZY!

Heh heh, the next part is gonna be great! Hyper Dib! I'm really sorry about the gap between parts. I'll do my best to make up for it in the next part. I can't wait...also sorry for shortness...BUT THE NEXT PART WILL BE LONGER!


End file.
